Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
