Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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