Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
