so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
