Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
