i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
