You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
