In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
