well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
