Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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