oh god the rape fog is back!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My dad just said "fuck circus"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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