idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
