I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
