I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize