First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
