Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
