I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
