community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize