how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
