I wanna passion pit in your ass
its not stalking. its research.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
