I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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