paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she smelled like a LAN party
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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