I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You've changed since you got that strap on
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize