I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
