You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think your dad took our porno
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
