i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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