my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
