if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
