he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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