every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
