my phone cant type all the emotion im having
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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