remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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