Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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