Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
