thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize