nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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