He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize