Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
