dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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