just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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