she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
