Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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