I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
