Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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