Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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