You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
