You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize