ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
