just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I cut my penus on the lid.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize