I bet he comes in French.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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