Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
