how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
