I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize