I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
