smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
