I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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