Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
