real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
