just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
