I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
