Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
